You know how, whenever you anxiously wait for a call or email to come through, it only happens once you FINALLY give up watching your phone? Or how, when you finally give up on meeting the love of your life and decide to just have fun on your own, THAT’S when you meet your person? That’s the magic of DETACHING—that moment of surrender when you let go and a dream FINALLY comes to life.
But how, exactly, does one surrender? If you’ve ever tried to stop thinking about that thing you really want, you know that detachment is easier said than done. Below are three steps to shift your stance from one of obsession to openness.
P.S. Prefer to listen? Check out Episode 123 of the Bright Life Podcast: DETACHING: The Magic of Surrender.
How to Let Go to Bring Your Dreams to Life
Get Clear on Your Ultimate Desire
The first step is to get crystal clear on your ultimate desire regarding your dream. Sometimes, there is a human tendency bundle multiple aspects together, which can lead to confusion and overwhelm.
For example, maybe up until now you’ve been thinking that you want to get HEALTHY, but that could look like lots of things. Is your main desire for weight loss, muscle gain, more activity, or something else?
Similarly, with business, maybe you desire SUCCESS… but success is opaque. What does that mean, specifically, to you? Is it revenue growth, new customers, social media followers, or something else?
Take a moment to clarify your dream—whether it’s a specific revenue goal, reaching a certain number of people, or creating something that truly resonates with you.
Determine What You’re Willing to Do
Once you have clarity on your ultimate desire, determine what you’re willing to do to achieve it. Consider how you want the experience of your dream coming to life to FEEL like. What actions are you willing to take to make that happen?
Then, just as importantly, clarify what you’re NOT willing to do. It’s OK to name things that you simply aren’t willing to do in pursuit of your dream. For example, Jenna Kutcher, a successful podcast host and bestselling author, describes how she felt pressure to be everywhere and promote her book nonstop when it came out. However, her ULTIMATE priority was being present for her family. So, she set clear boundaries, did what she was willing to do for the book, and released what she wasn’t willing to do, allowing the book to land where it was meant to in the world. I think it’s a beautiful example of intentional detachment and embracing a bigger picture in life—she allowed the book to reach who it was meant to WITHIN what felt aligned for her to do (and not do).
Setting these boundaries will help you create an experience that aligns with your values and brings you joy. What do you want the journey toward your dream to FEEL like? What are you willing to do? And, what are you not?
Be Open to Creative Solutions
Detaching doesn’t mean giving up or abandoning your dreams. It’s about trusting the magic of life and allowing it to support you in unexpected ways. As you loosen your grip and let go of the need for control, you open up to new solutions and possibilities that can lead to a more fulfilling journey. If you’re so focused on only one doorway through which a dream can come true, you miss out on the 20 others that could be even better for you.
Surrender with intention. Revisit your willingness to take action and how you want the experience to feel. Once you’ve made those conscious decisions, trust that the universe will work with you, leading you to the right path and perfect timing.
Embrace the Magic of Surrender
Whether you’re building a business, pursuing a health goal, or anything else, take a moment to define your ultimate desire, align your actions with it, and allow the universe to guide you along the way.
I hope this perspective sheds new light on the concept of detaching and surrendering. If you’d like to explore more on this topic, my book Your Bright Life: Get Clear on What You Want, Overcome Self-Doubt and Bring Your Dream to Life covers this and many other stages of bringing your dreams to life, with an entire chapter on detaching and surrendering!
Remember, you are not alone on this journey. There’s a universe filled with magic ready to support you. Trust the process, enjoy the ride, and know what’s meant for you will find you. 💛
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